Do You Talk To Yourself?
More specifically, have you ever held yourself back, and finally given yourself permission to do something you always knew you could, but never had tried?
If you read my bio, you know that I’m the second oldest of 11 kids. Raised dirt poor and loaded with in home responsibilities. Inside the house, I was often in charge and able to help manage the house and kids. Outside, such as in school, I was super shy, poorly dressed, and hardly noticed.
We moved and I changed schools when I was 17, at which time I talked to myself. I decided I wasn’t going to be shy and unpopular anymore. At this point in my life, this was the hardest thing I had ever done.
I walked to school that first day with my heart in my throat. I put a smile on my face and held my head high.
During Spirit Week, I dressed up and went along every single day. On Opposite Day, I went so far as to even wear a bra backward, stuffing it well so I had 2 lumps on my back all day long. That was the turning point (partly because it took ALL my courage) and really got me noticed. From then on I was ‘cool’.
I spoke up when I had something relevant to add to the conversation, instead of holding my tongue. I joked with the ‘popular’ kids. I went out for sports (not a pretty sight), and put all I had into it. I went to my first school dance, at 17.
I can tell you with 100% honesty that NONE of that stuff came easy in the beginning. Inside I was screaming at myself, wondering what the heck I was doing. “Who do you think you are???” But I didn’t let that show, instead I calmed myself and pretended I was at home, and these were my family.
Did I change who I was?
I was still exactly the same person inside. The difference was that I was finally letting others see who that was. I was fun. I could be funny when I wanted. I was smart. I just never let anyone see those things before, well not many outside of my house that is…
That unlocked something inside of me. I soon found that people liked ME. All I was doing was being myself, out loud.
Have you ever heard the term “Live Out Loud“? That is what I started to learn that year.
What pushed me to this point?
I was so sick of the way I saw myself. I was tired of hiding who I was. I was suffocating myself and I was only 17! I looked around and really started watching people for about a year before I broke free. What made some kids ‘popular’ and others hide in the back of the room?
The shy kids were amazing people… if they let you get to know them. The only difference was in their own head. They were all unique, but the ones who were popular let that show, the ones who weren’t… didn’t.
Behold The Beauty!
Let others see your beautiful uniqueness. Talk to yourself. Give yourself permission to shine.
You have so much to offer people. You have had experiences, and learned things from them, that others have not. Are you so selfish that you would not allow others to learn the lessons from your stories, rather than have to suffer and learn them the hard way, on their own?
One of the most important gifts you can give someone is yourself.
Let’s look at a couple of examples. Mike Dillard struggled and overcame. What if he had kept the lessons he learned to himself, or only his team? But he didn’t, he gave the gift of himself to anyone willing to listen.
Look at some of the authors of timeless books, such as Dale Carnegie. Can you imagine if he had kept all those secrets to himself, or only to those who took his course? He gave the gift of what he’d learned to the world in books that (over 70 years later) are STILL changing & improving lives.
Why not you? You have so much to offer. You know those times you hear a story, and you have the answer they are looking for…? Speak up! Share yourself with the world. You’ll soon find that the world will accept you and love you for it.
Do you agree? Leave me a comment and let me know what you think.
If you like this, share it with one of the share buttons at the top. Pass it along and help someone else unlock themselves, and give themselves permission to let the beauty of their uniqueness shine.
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This is one of the best posts I’ve read recently! All too often I find myself sliding into very Un-Goddessworthy self-talk and to read and share your experience of stepping into who you Wanted to Be has been a great lesson in the power of the Words we Use on Ourselves.
Thank you, Goddess Susanna ~ you’ve shared a great gift!
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Thank you Jacqueline!
You are so right, there is a lot of power in the words we use. Thanks for adding something of yourself to this post. I love it.
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what a great story – i relate !
at 53, i lost a bunch of my front teeth and to compensate for my embarrassment, i began to be outwardly More friendly and smiling to everyone.Within days i was Loving the new me – instant proof that appearances are overcome with friendliness and as i’ve brightened other peoples days just with my big ‘good mornings’, my own happiness has increased dramatically. it took guts to smile when my smile was tarnashed, but the rewards of Seeing more smiles back is awesome.
Smiling more changed my life, and br
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Susanna,
Another classic post, congratulations. Oh the games we play, eh? And thank you from my point of view too for an insight into the life of a shy person. We absolutely must give ourselves permission to shine and let our light fill the world about us. After all, we are persons of true value and the world definitely needs to hear from each of us as you mentioned.
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Hi Cliff
Wow, you have a great story too! That would take courage, but I bet it’s a wonderfully warm smile. I’d have to smile back if I saw it as well. Smiles make so much difference!
Actually, I did a post on the topic. The ‘Friendly Stalker’ post. I’m so happy to hear of another person that goes around spreading smiles. That’s great!
Thank you for sharing. I love that.
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Hi Peter,
It’s always a joy to read your comments. Yes, everyone has something to offer. As we develop ourselves more, we have more to offer, but even before that… we’re all so different and have so much we can share with the world.
Thank you for adding to this topic.
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Great job in taking that stand and making a conscious decision to let others see you for you!
I’ve listened to my husband recall a very similar story of his own teenage years. When I met him he is much like he is today; outgoing, tons of friends (which seem to come easy to make & keep), positive, a person of influence, never nervous or scared to take on something new, just all around a very likeable person.
That is how I thought he had always been, until when getting to know him in courtship I heard a much different story then what I saw. Apparently he had been very shy, not known, in fact straight up “geeky” if you will (oh and I have the pictures to prove it) -haha.
In his junior year of high school he had enough of going through life the way others saw him. So he decided to do the opposite of almost everything he was doing, come out of his shell.
It worked! By the time he graduated, his name and face was known, he was well liked, thought of highly among his peers.
To this day people do not forget his face or name when meeting him, even if it was years prior.
Much like looking ahead to see what end result you want. Then working your way backwards from the end result desired so you know how to proceed in small steps forward to achieve that final end result
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That is awesome that he stepped out and did that. I’m glad I did.
I think it’s an important lesson because that means that anyone can change the way they are perceived by others. They can change their social standing.
The change has to be mental first though.
Thanks for sharing! That’s great
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Susanna,
Thanks for another wonderful article! I can definitely relate having myself been extremely shy through high school and even into college. I have overcome much but am still a little shy about presenting my opportunity face to face. But here on the Internet, I feel very free to communicate and make new friends every day.
Phil Eldred´s last blog ..Have You Eaten Your Live Frog Today?
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Susanna Hess Reply:
April 28th, 2010 at 7:45 am
Hi Phil,
I have found that being shy can be a gift. It makes you more careful of what you say and how you say it. It holds you back from jumping all over the wrong people with your opportunity.
All you have to do is learn to take action when you see the door open. If you can take action, and push aside the fear that comes with being shy, long enough to grab hold of a good thing… well that’s perfect.
Make it a wonderful day!
Susanna
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